Long Hard Road Out Of Hell

Very fucking brainwashed.

Blogging isn't safe anymore in this corrupted state. There's no more freedom for an individual to free his/her mind and to shoot shit everywhere. One offensive line, an idiotic member of the public will call the authorities and complain. Nonetheless, I have nothing to lose. Maybe accept for my dignity. Or i'm just typing rubbish.

The battle rages on & on..I have a class at 9am & i've no mood to sleep. Something is bothering me. It's just hard for me to ignore it. Even music doesn't help. The feeling is weird. It's like everyone's against you & take every oppurtunity to fuck you all over. What is this..I'm confused. Maybe because of the low tbc rate. I didn't get any for the past 2 days. Withdrawing sucks. It fucking hurts.

You Can Kill The Protestor, But You Can't Kill The Protest...that phrase is stuck in my head & sets me thinking. The leftovers are actually the strong ones. It doesn't matter which part they come from. Be it from the front, back, sides or whatever. A protest is strong. It is actually a wake up call. But they are easily blown away by rubber bullets..aha..shitty moves.

2 weeks of freedom. My last freedom for at least 2 years. Parents away=no goverment in the house=no rules. I can do whatever fuck i want. Time like this..i wish there's someone else. Someone who cares. We can spend time together over in the house. But too bad..that person doesn't exist. So instead of being miserable & doing stupid things like cutting my wrist or whatever, i'll just be myself & enjoy the time with the true friends.

Why must shit happen when good things are imminent? Stupid horoscope. Always showing wrong stuff on rainy days. uhh..forgetting about it will just results in blasphemic spoilt memories. All awhile, it was fucking sailing smoothly. & then suddenly like an atomic bomb..it destroyed everything. All the names, words & phrases made..flowing down the shitty river. Gone forever. Can never be retrieved..unless there's a sudden change of mind..oh please fucking make it happens..or i'll be stuck with hell..& it's a long road out of it.

I wouldn't know what to do about it. Whatever it is, i'm just gonna be a hooligan fucking around during the 2 weeks since there's no one to care about. & then..probably..concentrate on fucking school. I need cash. & a chance to see the beautiful side of this land. Where everything is perfect and the lovely one by my side..my nymphetamine girl. hyah..