The slow sucky night did not help these feelings of anguish and misery that have been engulfing me for sometime. Call me stupid, pathetic, dumbass but it won't budge my mind to move an inch closer to reality. It has been too long and really stagnant. Answer me this. Would you bother to change something that is really wonderful and will make you really happy in the future? I doubt so. I finally realized that to achieve this happiness that many are yearning for, you HAVE to live a miserable life as a prerequisite. Yes, pretty much like school admission shit.