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The New Year

My girlfriend wished me "Salam maal hijrah" this morning. I was puzzled. Never in my life have I heard that phrase before. After some searches, I found out it's the Islamic new year today (which will starts after the sun sets).

I admit that I was never close to religion. I saw it as a hassle..even to the extend of it being a burden to fellow individuals. I just totally could not embrace it. Perhaps that explains the troubled and disturbed posts. I have no spiritual guidance and my soul is empty. Even with strict pious parents, I managed to wriggle out of this tight grip. 

But this was all in the past. I'm trying all I can to improve and change to a better person. Maybe to be even called a man and actually be one. 

Thank you, I'll take this as an opportunity to start anew. 

The suck for your solution

"Part of me is afraid to get close to people because I'm afraid that they're going to leave."

A truly well-inspired quote from the Arch Dandy himself.

Let us begin today's tale.

Pain & suffering do revolve around us on a daily basis. The unfortunate ones would probably experienced it much more than others. Even if an individual would have an awesome strong mind, the tsunami of agony will never fail to penetrate that frail shit.

So what's your solution?

Turn to the Almighty?
Drown yourself with poisons? 
Engaging in self-inflicting hurt shit?
Kill your loved ones?

I can't help you on this. It' just boils down to your own perception of life. You have the media, education ministries, government, weekly sermons, your parents to guide/influence/brainwash you in whatever freaking way you wish to put it. The only thing I'd say? To not be totally reliable on your heart. God gave you brains damn it. Utilize it well. It's a complex organ. Yes. But that do not give you the right to do really fucking stupid things. Please...oh pretty pretty please do not let fucked up individuals tell you what to do when obviously that shit is just wrong.

Everybody is trying his or her best to achieve that wonderful feeling of being perfect. Having everything in life..tons of money, awesome shelter, lovely partner. etc etc etc etc etc. Is it really that possible? I've never cared about achieving all these in life but obviously I'd work my ass off just so that my life would be comfortable and I'm capable of providing for my family.  My dream life you may ask?

* Sufficient cash for a comfortable life
* Shelter that is filled with love and actual "home-feeling"
* Partner who is always there to love and pick you up when you're stuck in the darkest abyss
* Happiness

Even at this stage, those 4 points are still impossible. The road to it maybe arduous. There will be multiple letdowns but fuck it. I'm going to show the world that I'm capable. Those points..they are keeping me alive..
Waking up each day brings me closer to that dream. I won't give it up & I won't let it crumble.

The date.. 13 months ago

The envious breeze swooped down upon me the moment her tears start to drip..drop by drop from her smudged eyes. Creating an incessant flow of black liquid down her chest...

Never has it been done in such a way..a way that involves so much malice. A way that is pretty fucking inhuman. The lights creating a silhouette that smothered her smile with grief & agony..still thinking on whether it's the right choice. Either for him or for her. Both are stuck in a mindless confrontation that could sparked a million demon congregating on this land.

Not taking things for granted will result in me being totally ignorant of whichever situation that might occur.

Define Fucked Up

Define fucked up.

It's when your face portrayed itself hideously. Your eyes staring into the abyss when conversation is ongoing. Eyeballs up in flames. Lips not making any effort to curve upwards. Permanently stapled...eh fuck this shit. Life is good again...I think.

Prominent view has given us much regarding what we go through everyday in life. View of what? View of uncertainty. Blessed with so so much negativity & distasteful agony, the cries of misconception has began to rise.  Not much to say about other happenings. One should never botherbothered of surrOundings that were misplaced in the darkest path of your life. 

The Second

It's 6pm here. The 15 of June. Dark and cold evening. Rays of sun could still be seen touching the surface over at home. Nonetheless, I'm enjoying every bit of this escapade.

Totally a whole new adventure. New environment, new place, a whole new weather with the one and only whom I love wholeheartedly. What more could you ask for? It's a wonderful combination which I really wish could be extended for long. How long? A very, very long time. Maybe till forever? Cliché much? But what the hell I'm too excited and never want this to end or even spoil it. 

1 more night. The night where I've been waiting for so long. A simple night with a chance to unlock the mellifluous smile I've been yearning for oh so long... Please Evenstar. Work your magic. Please help me. I never intend to put any dent in anyone's birthday. Since it's the princess birthday, give me the up-most joy to celebrate it.

"The Evenstar..and she took a white gem like a star that lay upon her breast hanging upon a silver chain.. "

This beauty, enchanted pendant..was given by a lady to a man to show the undying love she has for him..yours sincerely on the other hand is gonna present it to a captivating princess to show undying love, acceptance and support.

It's too soon to mention anything for now. Advices have been given but none was heeded. Stop being an idiot..I was told. If only they know how it actually is like then maybe such remarks won't be heard by me..but oh well. Fuck these fuckers. This doesn't concern their lives but mine. Mine and mine only. Maybe perhaps the princess' life as well but for now no. It's just mine. As selfish as it could be, I always do not want to trouble anyone as much as possible. My shit, my problem. All of these to be solved by me. Obviously for all of these. I'm the fire starter.

Still a long way to go till we're finally "home". Being in a bus along with 40 others..being accompanied by an old cowboy movie and uncomfortable cold bumpy ride..really increases the boredom $ tiredness. It feels so good..to be resting with you..waking up to a sweet smile..and being far away from home with the only one that matters.. Never had this opportunity before..it's really awesome. Worry is always at the back of my mind..cause we are always there to make each other smile. Let it be flawless.  Please. No more "desolate shit" lying around  please leave.

2 days time. 2 more days. Just two more. It isn't that long. One can only be patient enough after going through a few milestones. It's definitely an event that needs to be cherished. Also..definitely one wear putting on a mask is terribly.. sacrilegious? You need to be sincere in times like this. If it's being faked..why bother doing so much. To get the sweetest outcome..one must always be sincere.

Hold onto yourself and also never ever lose trust in yourself. There's no one else that you're able to count on to except yourself. Yourself..yourself and yourself. Unless..maybe you're a twin? Cause they weren't born alone unlike most of us? Lucky them. T

Alright farewell lovelies!

how sweet it is to be loved by you

I may not be the lucky one. 

Enjoying heaps of love and happiness that are defaulted to me were not given.

I understand the situation with such audacity. 

Mixture of emotions frequently engulfed my mind.

Resulting in atrocious blood being pumped around the body.

Making one unstable, uneasy & in pain. 

But still, giving up is the last thing in my mind cause how can one not make an effort to build something so beautiful..lasting..lovely..

Aside from all this, I'm fully aware that there is no way to overcome all this. Inner strength is vital.

Music in general defines the mood of any particular person. May all the love songs composed be the channel to show how much I love you.

"when everything else doesn't seem to go your way, you shut the fuck up. be modest and continue working hard to achieve whatever you desire..."

Terrible Horrible Me

I'm typing this down with so much pain, anguish & sorrow. I feel very devastated by my actions. I didn't heed the advice. I was blatantly rude to the 2 most important people in my life. The one who brought me up and took care of me & the one who i really love and cherish.

I'm aware that apologies aren't enough to make smiles and warmth return to them after the damages incurred by me. I know that i need to watch myself and not use others as a punching bag. Someone who cares and tried her best to make the situation better got shut up by me.

I regret my action. Please lift the silent treatment. I can't promise but I'll try my very best to improve. I don't want us to be apart. I love you.

Time has come for bitter things..or is it?

Maybe it's time to care less.

Maybe it's time to go with the flow.

Maybe it's time to appreciate whatever is given.

Maybe it's time to have some air.

Maybe it's time to not think of giving up yet.

Perhaps it's time to improvise.

Perhaps it's time to not be ignorant.

Perhaps it's time to give the very best.

Perhaps it's time to cherish.

Perhaps it's time to not think that you're a companion.

Never have the misery pulse been hit at an all time high. Subdued by incessant nonsense running through the mind which couldn't give a damn about how the overall body will be affected. This weakness..it is so much of a challenge. Even the thought of it makes me sick. How do I man up you may ask. I think it's because of every smile, kiss and touch. The more they strike me, the more alive I'll be.

Things are not going the way I want them to be. I guess different people have different ways of showing affection. I've learnt that it is something that is never possible to be forced on. It has to grow naturally. The 3 words that I've been wanting to hear with eyes locked..may never be heard or maybe soon. How long more? I have no bloody idea. Some said to be patient while others protested that a closure should be made. Where do I go from here? It is just too risky. Or maybe I'll just be a companion providing smiles and laughter but received none of it.

As what was promised, I'll still stick to that cause it's never nice to break a promise. The reward i'm working for? The biggest, brightest and the most sincere smile on her face. It may take many more years to achieve that but i must not let the emotions destroy this uphill task of happiness.

Words and music tried to calm the situation. But no. Didn't happen.

Nevertheless, here i am now. Still standing strong.

The slow sucky night did not help these feelings of anguish and misery that have been engulfing me for sometime. Call me stupid, pathetic, dumbass but it won't budge my mind to move an inch closer to reality. It has been too long and really stagnant. Answer me this. Would you bother to change something that is really wonderful and will make you really happy in the future? I doubt so. I finally realized that to achieve this happiness that many are yearning for, you HAVE to live a miserable life as a prerequisite. Yes, pretty much like school admission shit.

It's not your fault that you're always wrong.
The weak ones are there to justify the strong.

Mac keyboard sucks but not the system.

Best

Too long being up there affects people with low morale. With so much on the mind, it’s not easy to consult what’s good and what’s bad. Guidance is indeed necessary in this endless run. Unknown to yourself you might day. But it is what you make of it that will purely unfold the innocence hiding behind it. Think twice before going for it. The arduous journey behind it isn’t like a walk through the park. The obstacles waiting for you are tough. Have a clear mind. It’s always good being ignorant but not too much as it will greatly affect your reputation. Within the long line of history, kingdoms have fallen down with just a short battle of strong minds.


“Use your fist and not your mouth”. That is another story for a man fights with just his own ability. This doesn’t concern those are lazy. Even the weak will stand tall one day. Studded jacket you say? Well, that is vital. Never unfair. Speaking of unfairness, one with skills and lots of talent should be given a shot at something one dreams of. For example, the SSO. More like the asshole. Doesn’t allow people with huge talents to join them. Minimum requirement: fucking a levels cert. Stupid. Might as well put it in a way that only those snobby fucks with rich mommy daddy are allowed in. Where they can just pay their way through this wonderful place where they are responsible for it being filthy.

Living your life dead
You’re better off humiliated
Caring for the others
It’ll bring you to greater heights.

-me.

bah

"Auschwitz, the meaning of pain
The way that I want you to die
Slow death, immense decay
Showers that cleanse you of your life
Forced in
Like cattle
You run
Stripped of
Your life's worth
Human mice, for the Angel of Death"

It came and went off straight away.

Lest we forget II

Long as it seems, it's time to ride again. Over the rugged terrains up till a horrible downfall of an empire. He has risen. Banished for several months, nothing can stop him now. He stands tall and not afraid of anything. Defiant. That isHe.

As it approaches, He stands tall and very much ready for new challenges. Bashed, poked, sliced, drugged, killed. Nothing can stop him. Alas, He's re-born. But that's not all brothers and sisters. For it is He that will start the new era. An era filled with oppurtunity to stand tall. To have what you desire. And even. To fly.

Welcome to the new age. NWO, freemason. fuck off. We don't need you. Fly high and not be discouraged by the evil plight that has been increasing worldwide. We will win this.

Remembering a fallen comrade

A year had passed since you left.
It was Friday the 13th 2005..
Your spirit is still lingering around.
A crazy ..caring mosher.
Never violent..always thoughtful.

I still remember the times where I fell..everyone else would be on top of me but you'll be the one who picked me up. The rope that took your life is very distinguished. 7/5/05..the last time I saw you. It just shows how sick depression can get. You'll always be remembered..

Raihan ..The green jacket punk.
1984-13th May 2005

" All of us are bonded forever if you die I die that's the way it is"

live punk die punk

Out of all the people, I wanted you the most.

The minute of decay

I wash it down..just to block out all the sound.
I never thought I'd be alone. Well look at me now.

Sleepless nights, painful goodbyes.
Who the hell was I kidding?

The room starts to spin,
all alone and bleeding once again.
Can you help me make this.. make this fucking end?

Oh my..there must be something,
Something to take the pain away.
And so there's nothing you can give me.
It's probably better off that way..

Bloodshot eyes and a starless sky.
Who the hell are we kidding?

Sludge in the corner of my room,
little people teasing me from above.
I'm on my way down now..

You look so sweet, I guess the bright side hasn't allowed me yet.
Pull me out so I can catch my breath.

God, What is your story?

The cells that created the mutanity in the mind is causing the special few to suffer. The soon-to-be wiped out species..not given any respect but were thoroughly attacked. Making them realized that physical pain isn't nothing compared to emotional pain. Just because we are weird, that doesn't mean we will never erupt with lava of fiery rage. Scientifically combined with anger from deep within. But still..we are peaceful. Spit on us. You won't get shit. Just keep doing it and hope nothing will happen but you'll definitely get fucked. That can be assured.

But that's not all my brothers and sisters. Anxiety attacks and impatience has always gotten the better of me and I have yet to figure out a way to appease myself. Regarding how sick everything can get, I can only close my eyes as it's peaceful when that happen. I won't see anything coming my way..and I may just drop dead. A bullet with bad intentions might just charge full speed towards me. For when the eyes are closed, a quiet boy turns malicious not caring about the others. I'd rather not confide lest their vulgar gaze be too much to handle.

Disasters are imminent..a few were resolved but many more will come. Hate the feeling after inflicting hurt on oneself. All the fucking sick stuff that can't get the hell out of my head are bloody killing me slowly. Wouldn't it be better if they were never told or seen..How disgusting can the words be? How painful can it be when the concerns are just saying? Why weren't there any hints? Perhaps these are all the shittyness of life where one will just fucked it up and happily stroll away. Don't wanna be sick. Don't wanna be thrashed. Don't wanna be dead. Don't wanna be hurt. So help me God. What's your story for my life? The burden is shockingly ridiculous. I no longer have the strength to move on..

no salvation, no forgiveness

Help me live

Every new day equals another misery to be added onto the already full casket of ridiculous stuff. Mixed feelings stewed from an ugly pot. Hate, anger, confusion, depression, hurt,sadness & loneliness all boiled into one. How painful it is to experience this poison while amounting to the already full casket. No light is needed here, as in darkness one feels no regret..

punkrock love

Gave you love, gave you heart, all you gave me broken heart.

Dried Up, Tied And Dead To The World

To start off:
"Sometimes I feel so worthless."
"Sometimes I feel discarded."
"I wish that I was good enough."
"Then I know that I am not alone."

I am damned. I am dead. All my ashes to be sent to a perfect place in the sun..and in the dirt. There's a windshield in my heart and I'm bugged and smeared and scarred. Could you stop it from swallowing me? Could you please..

Angels with needles poked through my eyes. I can't see. Visible thing is pain while letting in the light of the world. I'm no longer blind.

Now I hold my ugly head. You've casted a shadow of my pefect death in the sun and in the dirt.
Tell me something beautiful and something free as I'm so empty here without you.
My apologies.

-
In life thy tears grow scarlet
Come desired nightfall
enchant my grievous loss
-

fundamentally lonesome

She saw his photo
She jokingly liked him
She contacted him
They seem happy
She liked him
Crying and thinking all night after the first fall
She stood up and continued walking
Happy times weren't there to stay
They welcome depression
She was thrown again
She cried
She feels cheated and hurt
She wanted explanation and bombed everything that she wants to know
Again, she felt that there is no chance
He didn't bother
Looks like he cared
But she cried herself to sleep every night
Thinking of the happy times and why she was thrown
She couldn't wait any longer
She doesn't want to be alone
There's no light at the end of the tunnel for her
She is hoping for the best
She is still walking, wanting him
Just waiting patiently till it dies

Rest In Peace Little One

Rest In Peace Little Nonoi.

You're the cutest baby cousin ever.

You will be missed.

May your stepfather die a terrible death.

I love you little one..

I wanna outrace the speed of pain. For another day.

Sometimes I feel that there is no point in chasing what I want.
It's like I've been trying and waiting but I wasn't given the attention and even the guts.
What a fucking loser /I am.
How I wish there's an end to everything that weakens/hurts me. It would be great.
But sadly, there's no such thing.

How I yearn for thee..
I want to be happy. I do not want a depressing/miserable life. How I wish there's something that bring happines that easily..
Right now there's only one thing that'll make me the happiest person..but I've no idea whether that day will ever come..

Thee I adore..
All this while, I've been really scared. I do not want something bad to happen to me.
I just want things to go the way I want. But I do not want to be selfish at the same time..

"Give me a chance and I'll bring you to paradise."

The Corrupted Media

"black metal strikes suria", "black metal again????" and "malaysian police raids gig, protest on its way!". These posts have been headlining the local scene forums for some time already. Who to blame? The media.

mediacorp's malay channel suria has a show called hanyut which is about losers who fucked their own life up and blamed it on friends, relatives, society and their parents. Anyway, the previous episode was about black metal. I think the bloody producers saw that it's about time to air an episode all about black metal when msian goverment banned mayhem and resurfacing the "black metal story" that happened back all the way in 1992 if i'm not wrong.

Basically, everyone thought that particular episode is good and it makes the public appreaciate black metal. but no..it was the other way round.

Harun a 17 year old malay boy is into black metal and he dresses up everytime he's going out. Complete with make up, eye liner, boots, jackets, spikes and chains even to meet his friends at the void deck just to play 1 acoustic guitar. How pathetic...5 boys all fully dressed up at a void deck watching one of their friends playing acoustic guitar is uber fucking kult!! to MEDIACORP that is...

The show just shows Harun being rude to his parents, staying out late, smoking, drinking & stealing money. WTF? That is every fucking mat's hobby. And to steal money from his grandma for battle of the band?? which is fucking mainstream... stupid ridiculous poseurs..

AND the show even focused on Iron Maiden, Skid Row and Slipknot being black metal...how stupid...they should bloody get their facts right first even before showing it..so now every parents will think that black metal is badddddddddddddddddd.

the storyline:
idiot's parents not in good terms, idiot became rebellious, idiot started listening to black metal, idiot started being rude to parents and even steals money, idiot started drinking and coming home late, idiot wanted to form a band and joined a competition, idiot sentt to boys' home, idiot stole again when he is inside, idiot realised his mistakes and repent. "Drawing grafitti and sketching koi fish on notepads are signs that you are not satanic "

I thought the show is about a boy who started listening to black metal at a young age. Got hooked. Attended a gig. Felt high while moshing, bodysurfing and headbanging for the first time. Met more weird people.Wanted to feel big. Thinks that worshipping Satan rocks. Got influenced badly and performed rituals. Went around shouting "Ave Satanas!" and then regretted everything

stupid hanyut show.
boo.

the last day on earth

Yesterday was a million years ago
In all my past lives I played an asshole
Now I found you, it's almost too late
And this earth seems obliviating

We are trembling in our crutches
High and dead our skin is glass
I'm so empty here without you
I crack my xerox hands

I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye

The dogs slaughter each other softly
Love burns it's casualties
We are damaged provider modules
Spill the seeds at our children's feet
I'm so empty here without you
I know they want me dead

I know it's the last day on earth
We'll be together while the planet dies
I know it's the last day on earth
We'll never say goodbye.

:/ ....

Evil Bible

Fire Breathing Dragons


"Can you draw out Leviathan with a fishhook? Or press down his tongue with a cord? "Can you put a rope in his nose Or pierce his jaw with a hook? "Will he make many supplications to you, Or will he speak to you soft words? "Will he make a covenant with you? Will you take him for a servant forever? "Will you play with him as with a bird, Or will you bind him for your maidens? "Will the traders bargain over him? Will they divide him among the merchants? "Can you fill his skin with harpoons, Or his head with fishing spears? "Lay your hand on him; Remember the battle; you will not do it again! "Behold, your expectation is false; Will you be laid low even at the sight of him? "No one is so fierce that he dares to arouse him; Who then is he that can stand before Me? "Who has given to Me that I should repay {him?} {Whatever} is under the whole heaven is Mine.

"I will not keep silence concerning his limbs, Or his mighty strength, or his orderly frame. "Who can strip off his outer armor? Who can come within his double mail? "Who can open the doors of his face? Around his teeth there is terror. "{His} strong scales are {his} pride, Shut up {as with} a tight seal. "One is so near to another That no air can come between them. "They are joined one to another; They clasp each other and cannot be separated. "His sneezes flash forth light, And his eyes are like the eyelids of the morning. "Out of his mouth go burning torches; Sparks of fire leap forth. "Out of his nostrils smoke goes forth As {from} a boiling pot and {burning} rushes. "His breath kindles coals, And a flame goes forth from his mouth. "In his neck lodges strength, And dismay leaps before him. "The folds of his flesh are joined together, Firm on him and immovable. "His heart is as hard as a stone, Even as hard as a lower millstone.

"When he raises himself up, the mighty fear; Because of the crashing they are bewildered. "The sword that reaches him cannot avail, Nor the spear, the dart or the javelin. "He regards iron as straw, Bronze as rotten wood. "The arrow cannot make him flee; Slingstones are turned into stubble for him. "Clubs are regarded as stubble; He laughs at the rattling of the javelin. "His underparts are {like} sharp potsherds; He spreads out {like} a threshing sledge on the mire. "He makes the depths boil like a pot; He makes the sea like a jar of ointment. "Behind him he makes a wake to shine; One would think the deep to be gray-haired. "Nothing on earth is like him, One made without fear. "He looks on everything that is high; He is king over all the sons of pride."
(Job 41:1-34 NAS)

The Stains of Yesteryears

"The valley of death we are free"
"Your Father's Your Prison You see"

Everything is going at a very fast pace that even lightning cannot strike. The feeling is so strong. It seems, as there isn't much motivation or even energy left. Passing out is imminent. The apocalypse is here. Behold the almighty. The fake messiah that pounces on everyone who has weird lifestyle. Shitty cunt.

Sorry, 4 days wrong & I've been caught in a dilemma. What's there to kill it? Or better. To solve it. Knowing myself, I'll be too lazy to even bother. Why must this happen? Can't one just live and be happy? And just die when everything sucks? Why must it be this way? Why must misery control everybody's life? Why wasn't there any chance?

Everything makes me sick. The one that I want is just impossible. I just want to be happy.I am quite convinced as always....that wrong ideas are right. If we're together as one, the bigger brain will be there. We will be it. The ache was benign. That's very rare.

Please be advised: If you don't understand, then you ARE in complete admiration of this aggressive-fashion-rape-symphony and the syntax of the conductor. Now breathe slowly.

Will it be a dream come true? I don't know. It has been bugging me for an awfully long period of time. I wanted it fast! But I failed. I won't admit defeat until I TRY! How bizarre is that....I don't even dare to begin. How can it even be a fairy tale ending? Or is there even any? 3 possible answers are stuck in my head. How I wish the sweet one would be given to me. Or there's nothing for me.. I'm just a facade covering the atmosphere you're in. Why bother? I'll still be able to see but not communicate....that is really saddening.

Once again, another post which doesn't make any sense. Yes. It doesn't.

Happy Birthday to the greatest artist of all time.

The Arch Dandy.

The Antichrist Superstar.

The Reverend of COS.

The God of Fuck.

Marilyn Manson.

You've made me like this. You've influenced me badly.
Your works woke me up and made me realised what life actually is..

"A catless grin with smoke for words,
I love all those who let me."

Whore Whore Whore Mr Fatty Got Satan-ed

SANTA with just the changing and moving of one
letter, you will have SATAN! That is right!! Satan,
the devil. Just move the "N" to the end and S A N T A
becomes S A T A N Is that unbelievable or
what? Is this by chance or coincidence? Not after
seeing everything you have read so far on
"Christmas". And what does Santa travel in? A
sleigh (slay) and where does he come into the
house? DOWN a very dark and sooty place called
a
chimney, right into the FIRE!!!

CLAUS---in this name, by using the same letters,
you have LUCAS concealed. Now Lucas is the root
word for LUCIFER!! Now, in just this creatures
name, and that is exactly what he is, you have
SANTA CLAUS---SATANLUCIFER. Do you
honestly want
to try to explain this away?

Satan is the adversary of the Kingdom of God, and
Lucifer's name meant "Lightbringer". Paul warned
us to be NOT deceived, for Satan himself is
transformed into an ANGEL of LIGHT. In Isaiah
14:12-17, we have the written account of the fall
of Lucifer from Heaven. In his rebellion against
the authority of God, he rebelled to the WORD OF
GOD. Do you not think that this is his aim today?
For he knows that rebellion to the Word of God is
the act of eternal damnation, and this is why my
beloved brethren, Christmas is SO DISGUISED.

You cannot drink the cup of devils and the cup of
the LordI Cor.10:21. The cup of devils is
SATURNALIA---CHRISTMAS, the cup of the Lord
is HIS
WORD!! In Isaiah 14, Lucifer said he would exalt
HIS THRONE above that of God, and upon what
does Santa Claus sit on in the malls and department
stores? You got it, A THRONE!! Lucifer said, I
will ascend and sit upon the mount of the
congregation in the sides of the NORTH. Where
does Santa Claus come from? The NORTH Pole.

There you have it. A great post 2 days before christmas. I had a post on friendster from a Christian friend. She said she's annoyed with people saying xmas because they substitute Christ for X. She was so fucking annoyed by that. Don't be annoyed Samantha =). So people..do not do that..you're replacing the guy you worship or whatever with an X! With a cross..hur hur

Bang Bang Feuer Frei!
Merry Everybody...

Whacked, thrashed and dying

The gig sucks.

It does. My health became worst after i started sneezing. The room was fucking hot. Vin pogo-ed me by my neck and it was sooo fucking fun..but i lost..it's okay..there'll be next time.

The best part was..i whacked Ian's & cousin's lips. Oh yea..but it was accidental. The result on my cousin's lips was great! fucking became black n bled. I got scratches on my left knee..when someone fucking kicked & stepped on it during the last crazy pogo..fuck..it hurts.

The fuckiest part was during the first pogo & my right boot came off..and NO FUCKING ONE bothers to get my boot and put it at a side. bloody assholes. (excluding friends..cause they were at the other side). Bloody fucking core fucks.

The liberty spikes was great..although it looks a bit retarded...& ive no bloody idea how to wash off the gelatine from my hair. Saw an emo couple in the train on the way back. Act fierce only...nabei. Nevermind..they are the low. fucking low. ugly fucks.

bang bang feuer frei..

Smells like children

I had a plan.

I had a bloody plan.

I had a fucking plan.

I had a motherfucking plan.

& it's useless..currently. Gone forever.

-period.

To analyze & interpret.
To analyze & interpret.
To analyze & interpret.
To analyze & interpret.
To analyze & interpret.
To anal sex & interfere.
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That was a nice remedy.

Long Hard Road Out Of Hell

Very fucking brainwashed.

Blogging isn't safe anymore in this corrupted state. There's no more freedom for an individual to free his/her mind and to shoot shit everywhere. One offensive line, an idiotic member of the public will call the authorities and complain. Nonetheless, I have nothing to lose. Maybe accept for my dignity. Or i'm just typing rubbish.

The battle rages on & on..I have a class at 9am & i've no mood to sleep. Something is bothering me. It's just hard for me to ignore it. Even music doesn't help. The feeling is weird. It's like everyone's against you & take every oppurtunity to fuck you all over. What is this..I'm confused. Maybe because of the low tbc rate. I didn't get any for the past 2 days. Withdrawing sucks. It fucking hurts.

You Can Kill The Protestor, But You Can't Kill The Protest...that phrase is stuck in my head & sets me thinking. The leftovers are actually the strong ones. It doesn't matter which part they come from. Be it from the front, back, sides or whatever. A protest is strong. It is actually a wake up call. But they are easily blown away by rubber bullets..aha..shitty moves.

2 weeks of freedom. My last freedom for at least 2 years. Parents away=no goverment in the house=no rules. I can do whatever fuck i want. Time like this..i wish there's someone else. Someone who cares. We can spend time together over in the house. But too bad..that person doesn't exist. So instead of being miserable & doing stupid things like cutting my wrist or whatever, i'll just be myself & enjoy the time with the true friends.

Why must shit happen when good things are imminent? Stupid horoscope. Always showing wrong stuff on rainy days. uhh..forgetting about it will just results in blasphemic spoilt memories. All awhile, it was fucking sailing smoothly. & then suddenly like an atomic bomb..it destroyed everything. All the names, words & phrases made..flowing down the shitty river. Gone forever. Can never be retrieved..unless there's a sudden change of mind..oh please fucking make it happens..or i'll be stuck with hell..& it's a long road out of it.

I wouldn't know what to do about it. Whatever it is, i'm just gonna be a hooligan fucking around during the 2 weeks since there's no one to care about. & then..probably..concentrate on fucking school. I need cash. & a chance to see the beautiful side of this land. Where everything is perfect and the lovely one by my side..my nymphetamine girl. hyah..

Hate

Hate.

That's a strong word to use. It doesn't look that strong unless it's being apply to the action of an individual. It makes a person vicious, strong & litres of angry liquid engulfs within the body. People around may not know what that person is thinking or how is he feeling. This has caused quite a stir in almost everybody's mind and no volumes of health-destroying substances are able to overcome it. Even if they are present in the organs, they'll just do more harm to my body. The only antidote is to enjoy the peacefulness that is only available in one's room. Unless of course. There's a fucking sibling sharing the room with you.

Feeling pissed off can also be resulted by the above. Why are you pissed off? Is it because your friends are acting like some silly fuckheads? Definitely!! It's disgustingly yucky. I'm sure you have experienced it before. I won't have names here cause this blog isn't the hall of shame. The every day people they see already recognizes these people as that. So why bother? Plus bad-mouthing people aren't good since the traffic here is dead.When you're pissed or angry? Lots of things will fly into your head. Even those innocent shits. You'll really blow up & fuck anything that's in your way.

To top it all up, I have no frigging idea what I've typed about. It killed the animosity rising in me though. Give it a try. Typing or writing shits let the boo-hoos out. That's the perfect fucking cure! Anyway, I guess most people knew about it already. As the cool teenagers say.."who the hell cares man?!". So yeah. To be cool repeat that phrase over and over again. You'll automatically be labeled as a cool kid.

Oh yeah.

My mind is ready for school

Authorities are a bunch of racist fucks. The joy has begun! It has been a week since UOA 2 and a bloody continuous teet sound is still in my ear. Sleepless nights rock! ATTENTION MY CRIPLING MUSICIANS! I am your immunised slut.!!!!.....drum rolls please....At least my sickness is coming to an end. Lighting up pink & black candles around the room won't be a tedious task anymore! I hear stomping yes i did. It's my goddamn terrapin coming back for more vengeance. Listen! I don't have to make this official but the second coming of God will require more than softcore porn, mini-bar gin and Viagra. Quote unquote. Yes almost everything here was quote unquote. Just believe what you believe.

Well here's something new! I ain't much of a blogger and what the hell am i doing here..I'm trying my best to resist being the rest who put in daily actions...but...KABOOM!! I wouldnt want my private life to online! The online world is an evil place where everyone is pretty! Bloody hell! No one wouldnt wanna be themselves when they are online. At least my intro would be short dark & ugly!! BE fair bloody homosapiens.

TO CLARIFY:
I bear no grudges towards anyone unless you have my stuff for more than 3 months and don't bother telling me about it. Even the fine print of my dad's painting eludes me & I forget how little time there is to bother about people who aren't worthy to be friends with.
Bloody had a good time away from schools and not seeing bloody lecturers, lecture/class mates. The pain really antagonized me on increasing that much hatred on them. Like what the fuck? Bloody bengs around the school have colored and long hair and my is even yet to touch my shirt & I've been given an offense letter. Shit! Isn't there any justice or equality left? Are the majority ruling us all and letting the minority flee????????? bleah..i couldn't careless..that pretty sums up of how fucked up Singapore is. Maybe after LKY's death, things will be so much fucking better.

BUT THE IMPORTANCE IS TO ALWAYS:
1) Be prepared of what seems to be the biggest catastrophic event ever! No god will bloody save you wahahwhahawhahahahah!!
2) Outsider's view on your work may not be that fucking important for the goal that you've created. So just block off all those slutty remarks.

Oh ya. I can't wait to be sodomized my Slipknot! If only the bloody worried parents not know about this upcoming gig, it will be a success. BUT! One fucking letter to the press would bring down the concert.................let us all stay positive and keep our hopes HIGH!! DO NOT BE NEGATIVE! A slutty friend of mine have high hopes that the concert will be canceled. OH YEAH? To hell with you. What's up with you liking all these metal/rock stuff but you fucking place your chips on Slipknot getting canceled??? huh?!
Okay..i shan't continue on that. School's a bitch. It definitely won't be a bitch if i get to choose what i want. Like course, classmates...but what the hell...I'm already like HALFWAY completing it so there's no damn use complaining about it now...I GUESS.

I hope the upcoming week won't be a fucking strenuous one cause i wouldnt wanna get bad dreams. It has come to me that BAD DREAMS cause fever. NO! my definition of bad dream isn't about a ghost humping you or a loved one died or something in that nature. HELL NO! What i saw from bad dreams were that they are unexplainable. I know some dreams are unexplainable too but i know you fuckers enjoyed it the whole night. This particular dream from what i think involves your brain to bloody think about it and when thers sort of "not much power left generating the information" the body will get sick or something...I had experienced this shit thrice and it scared the living fuck out of me. Thiss..thiss...unexplainable weird dreams. I've tried this thing called Recalling Dreams. This guy said that in one night, an average of 10 dreams will be "played" in our mind. & he actually tried his best to wake up after each dream n recorded it down. I did try it but hell..i was too lazy to wake up. I even told myself that it's a dream! You can touch everyone inside and wont get into any trouble! But NO! I was too afraid to touch people in my dreams...dreams can also be an alarm clock huh...

I seriously wouldnt know the reason on why i typed all this down..might be the low tbc rate.

To Fazlinah: Heres my part of the dedication. miss ya too
To Umar: Dude! i need more help hah :P

If mankind is illustrated, are we pencils or erasers? Write the score? Or ride the whore?


Hast.

bleah